not keeping up w posting! ------ name-change

i am sooo sorry, i have been neglectful here. i desperately NEED to find a "community" "group" or such, maybe here or blog-frog, or blogged, re: NAME CHANGE!! i want to finalize this! i'm over the insanity of trying to fit in all the names i feel best describe me, as well as fam(ily) tributes :O

i absolutely canNOT use Elizabeth. here's the dilemma, ie; bummer about NOT using it;

1) it was my birth middle name
2) it was my adopted middle name (no, they didn't know it had been birth mn)
3) my Beloved birthmom (mami')'s mn was Elizabeth!
4) my Beloved birthsister's FIRST name is Elizabeth :)
5) in my adoptive fam, my mother's aunt Elizabeth was the "matriarch" of the fam,
    ie; i am named for her.
6) my step-cousin's first name is Elizabeth
7) my former "sis-in-law"'s first name is Elizabeth
8) i was born at St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Brighton/Boston.
9) i have soooo many friends who's mn's are Elizabeth!
10) i am quite certain there are other Elizabeth names in my adoptive fam,
    perhaps mom will show me that currayzee "fam tree" she did some yrs ago.


what a quandry!! conundrin? not sure bout THAT being correct. alas, what to do?

THEN! wanting a tribute to mami's first name; Joan-Marie, i found Shivon, a Gaelic form that relates to! amazingly; Joan, John, Jane, Jo and Jeanne! that tribute would include;

1) mami's first name = JOAN
2) Beloved adopted dad's first name (he went by J. Lyell tho) = JOHN
3. adopted mom's name = (Mary) JANE
4) my fave uncle, who died young, Joe = JO
4) my adopted sister (who hates me)'s name = JEANNE

how can i ignore THAT coincidence??? so Shivon is def in. that works THAT issue out, easy, awes.

i have a theory on Elizabeth. have tried ev single spin-off, nothing works for me...came up with Elixia. it is an extremely unusual name, has several meanings, not to mention i can basically pick my spelling, this IS america afterall! if i throw a "Z" in there, perhaps; Elixzya, or some such similar, that would suffice. i have come to the conclusion that THAT is the "E" name i will use. Elixza....hmm... maybe...


my Beloved first name, Jiinxsay, ie;  jinx, in Latin means GOODLUCK CHARM, NOT bad luck! and Elixia means "elixir" you know, something that makes you feel good/better, ie; God, me, sunshine, oceans, sunsets, etc. may seem silly to some.
i have only God and myself to please here. the tribute to Fam members is all my idea,
i'm sure they won't even care/acknowledge it....again, only God & me matter<3


unfortunately i don't "get" to please my birthmom "Mami'", as she passed away April 5, 2007 :(
but i WILL pay my tribute to HER +

you see, this whole thing has me going back&forth!....
so; Jiinxsay Lee Shivon (for DAD's initials JLS), STILL trying to come up with a million mn's-(middle names) to have JLS on new birth certif/name change record. NO, my last name will NOT start with "S", like ours. that era is OVA. the name Sanders died October 7, 1998 with the passing of my Beloved dad, Prof. J. Lyell Sanders +

thanks to my wonderful FB friend Kae Whild, i FOUND my perfect last name :) so in the middle of Jiinxsay Lee Whild, we have like 9-14 potential mn's!!! how to narrow it down? what to do? will HAVE to go back to "nameberry" and "babyhold" forums to get my gurls' input! Jiinxsay Lee Shivon is a good starting point tho. i am 100% committed to having beloved dad's initials :) JLS, my fav initials on the planet, should def have them inked on me! will talk about "tattoo for dad" later.....

have sooo many fantasy tat's related to beloved dad, can't use them tho, cuz i know on ME, it would look sleazy :(  other gurls, esp; suicide gurls, look great with all of them, but i just can't do it. i have my angel wings on my back :)
"Angel" being another name i want on my long list of namiiez :)


guess i should just POST this! was looking for specific stencil tattoo that i want, can't find :(
merry monday :)

there it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wannit, will put dad's initials under heart, between wings :)
don't know WHERE on ME to ink it :O

to fill my wings in, all the way to this degree :)

not for my hipbone, just LOVE the stencil pencil type tats :)

most precious angel tat!

wOw, i'm missing a TON of tat pics :(  i may not have transferred all my fave tat folders from the big laptop, but i KNO i have em up on FB. if i EVER get the patience to go there, i'll re-copy them. i believe i'm going to make a special 3rd page on my Blogger, with pics of lovely tats i want or otherwise Love :)

peace&Love, gtg for now....tired.

k, changed my mind

as a typical woman does :)
decided i'm not going to keep the turquoise.....
i started this blog thinking "pink & black",
so why change it now?
i think i was just trying to incorporate my Lj colors.
no need. besides, turquoise looks better as background on Lj,
than it does at text on Blogger :)
alas.....back to the drawing board!!!
i am, however, very pleased with the FONT!!
i'm still tweaking the dif shades/hues of pink,
to make it right. sidebar title pink is too light.
will work on that as well. but for now,
need to take a break, watch some tv.
i just LOVE other bloggers here on Blogger!
ev time i look for something, i branch off
into a million tabs of Blogger sites, it's hilarious!
as i read their's, i click on one of their links,
and so on! then find myself with too many tabs goin ;)
k, signing off. oh ya, that's another issue altogether!
gotta do something about my "sig"....not happy with it.
k, peace for now. LOVE to all who may read this.
pray, pray, pray!!!!!!
or maybe, just maybe, God DOES love me,
and as Courtney says, "walk with the King".
i will try to be worthy <3
God Bless All my Beloved Blogger friends in blog-land!

k. that took just about all night to do

for now i am satisfied. will work on it more later, 

do some more adjusting to the pinks.

must get some sleepy time now. love my pinkie and turquoise, 

somewhat like livejournal, cept wayyy dif :)

niteynite!

really want this font baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddddd

Princesse, Ballerina, Ice Skater, Angel, Baybiie

oh my good God, i HURT :(

went to Beth Israel today, to see Urologist and his fabulous assistant NP Jodie, luvluvluv her!!!!!!
just a reg checkup. dr said he would schedule mag-3 for around 3 months from now....no fukn wayyyy! i am in agony NOWWWWWWWWWWWW.................so it's gonna be way sooner rather than later!! had to take extra pain pills, don't like to break rules. should be at ER to get a shot for pain. not doing that. hate doing that. short-term solution. so!
gonna call back tomorrow!!! and tell them how bad it was tonight and see if i can get in sooner! what am i gonna do? he said when he did my right kidney 2.5 yrs ago, it was "really complicated", not good :( i have endless "abherrant arteries", just googled UPJ obstruction and wish i had researched beFORE appt, to ask him if i had "crossed vessels", which makes surgery, even laporoscopic, extremely dangerous, due to possibility of "bleeding out"..........he suggested removing the left one, due to pain, life-long probs, it was congenital defect. i said, NO thx. ---heavy heavy sigh---- so i must set alarm on cel fone to call them tomorrow.
time spent with mom today was really special. glad our relationship is evolving into this :)  she drove INto boston, i drove OUT, lol...too scared to do it myself...stopped at sud bank and she deposited hundreds in my account, due to meds not recently being covered  by my welfare insurance. thx mom. cel fone back on. thank goodness. oh people, please PLEASE PLEASE!!! pray for me :(   i am in such horrible pain, heating pad helps, narcotics not doing alot. pain is in EXACT spot it was for the first 18 yrs of my life :(  also feel nauseated, result of severe pain) and my sweet Shainelle is making special dinner tonight, instant Hungry Jack tatos, peas to mix in for me :) corn for her :) i hope to high heaven i can actually EAT. may take nother pill :(((( GOD PLZ HELP ME, I AM WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE AND CARE. i know you can't remove this pain, just help me to deal, or get into my web designing mode, to get my mind off it :) it's a hobby that i love to do :)
tomorrow me and Shai have to go to fram, number 1, go to SMOC to find out about G.E.D. program for Shai. then, number 2, go to Mass Bay, so i can get catalog, want to makeup Microbiology :) have to get in touch with MassRehab, who gives financial help for schooling to disabled folk, such as me.
MUST CALL THEM TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! k, gtg, my lil cooker/chef is almost done, sweetest gurl ever, mommie's loving chef. i love that she loves to cook and bake :)

k, signing off now....let's see, happy pics :)))

damn, that one's supposed to be animated....

still LOVE music+PINK :) well, try, try again :)))

k, even tho she's crying, this is a very special pic :)

not only is she "Chic", 

but one can also tell she is; 

Loving and Kind, and... especially Vulnerable.

very Endearing.

here is an absolutely amazzzing

Beautiful Ethereal Goddess 

with 

Super-Long Hair!! 

what she is wearing would most def fall into the category of 

"GOSSAMER"  

STUNNING! AMAZING!

a verrry, very special pixie cloud :) 

LUVIT! 

absolutely MUST love that crown/tiara :)))))

can't get the exact correct sz for this. 

still...isn't she perfection?? 

what shade/hue purple would you call that?

hmm, i wonder how many dif; tints, colors, hues we could do? 

loL....i am sooo currayzee :O  next one down, LOVELY shade of blue <3

i want to name her.

um, Taylor Syrinda? (Syrinda is pn; suh-RIN-duh)... 

or Brinley Amelie? (Amelie is pn; AH-muh-LEE).

we'll figure it out :)

Precious Cutie, lil brown-eyed Dollie :)

want to use her as my "sig".

PURPLE used to be my #1 Fave,

until PINK came along and took over :)

however! this shade of purple is incredible.

k, the end~

:(

i'm sooooo depressed, i can't even believe it. i can't do ANYthing :( 
so much to be done, can't even get out of this bed :(  
bills to pay, clothes to return, can't deal. so sick of being sooo poor.
practically suicidal, cept it's a sin, so no, not gonna.
but feeling like shizz. came outa nowhere :(
stupid prozac not doing squat.
just took a valium, prob gonna take nappie.
the only solution.
can't use fonts i want here and livejournal, bummin....w.e...
k, might as well find happy pic to put up, to off-set depressing post.
don't want others to be brought down by my down-ness.

peace&Love to all my Beloveds<3

~ps- here is such a pretty gurl named Tempest Paige.
LOVE her lightest PINK hair :))
would die to look like her.....
these dolliezz were made for her too :)

testing hex code color numbers

Princesse, Ballerina, Ice Skater, Angel, Baybiie



     =============================lightest lt turquoise that can't even be seen


    ============================= BLACK


   ==============================?????????????????


     ==============================dk turquoise


     ============================== LT PINK


     ============================== ??????????


     ============================== background-color for sidebar=(hot pink/magenta)


     =====================================================??????????


     ==============================================on hex chart, it looks like maroon 2


     =====================================================??????????


     =============================================================??????????


    =======================================================???????????


    =========================================??????????


    ============================================= WHITE OR BLACK


    ===========================================??????????  

+Princesse, Ballerina, Ice Skater, Angel, Baybiie+    


# *  $       


%<>

testing out dif fonts

Princesse, Ballerina, Ice Skater, Angel, Baybiie



just testing to see if i can use a dif font on any given post...............

US Census Workers Knocking on Your Neighbors’ Doors, Looking for Snitches in Memphis

US Census Workers Knocking on Your Neighbors&#8217; Doors, Looking for Snitches in Memphis


i found this disturbing. i don't know how the rest of you all feel about the Census. i feel the government is wayyyy too involved in OUR business. it feels like old skool Russia. perhaps i am over-reacting. i believe in LESS government involvement and more self-sufficiency!!

please let me know how you all feel about this. i know my friend Sam, one of my Beloved followers, also believes in LESS government also :) it's just getting scary. we want to move to Canada, seriously. we are "Nobama" at this point.

i worked hard my whole life, until i became disabled. now i am in school to get a degree in "Health Care Administration", where i can work HARD, while sitting down :)

i pray no one judges me for what i have said here. i feel very strongly about this. we are literally being "stalked" by the Census folk. i refuse to answer the door. beat it.

Love, Peace and Prayers to all my Beloved Friends :)