hmm, havin trouble linkin stuff, dif subjects, all over tha place, as usual

bummer. on ppl's blogger, i see link for "operation nice". i want to add that to MY site. just tried to add a woman's blog, or rather "follow" it & it showed up as a damned entry to my journal :O   not down w'that :(

tha good news you ask??? well! homeslice DID give me $$ today & thankfully rena was able to drive me to tha closest t-mob-rape center & now my cel is turned back ONNNNNN! thank God! i think i have a problem w/that & the insecurity i have when its shut off for nonpayment. you wouldn't think so either, considering my car has been "down", "busted" for 22 days now, but alas, i need my cel. i like txting, etc...so that was tha positive for today, as well as NOT drinking, despite tha fact i had $$$. AND!! my tan is off tha hook bangin! Shai (Shaina) said i'm "too brown" on shoulders & chest, i say NEY!! no such thing ;)  my face IS a lil burnt as are my lips, and WHAT...makes me feel fuKn MINT! gonna rain next 5 days so i get to feel tanned & glittery-(i wear glitter on my chest & arms when they're tan) :)

i really wish i knew how'ta "follow" a blogger here in blogspot world.....i must be patient and allow time to pass, and be accepting that everyone has their OWN lives & my damnable BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER really dicks with my head!!! with the awareness i have of this disorder now, i am much more aware of how "it" affects me, caused me to react, negatively, of course, lol.....NOT... they want to rename it "emotional dysregulation disorder", meaning it's not a "weakness" but rather literally i, and the others with BPD are "hard-wired" wrong :(   still sux@$$....

so there are the ups & downs of this gurl for one tiny, lil day....i'm grateful i am able to take it "one day at a time" otherwise i woulda "combed my hair with a 38" lonnngggg ago!!! there MUST be a reason i am here. at this time in my life, i feel as if GOD wants me to focus on my 

& to help & guide my children towards their destinies...............no love affairs, no husband in tha future,

even tho we allll know how much i value the institution of marriage & think it's tha most beautiful gift God gives, besides children of course!!!! i will delve deeper into that subject another time. right now i just feel very grateful that i have my cel back AND i have a journal where i can come anytime & say anything :)


thanks to anyone who may happen to read this. 

i wish you

:)

~Jiinxsay Lee Whild