damnit, i hate being a chicken :(

i am all done up, glitz, glam, sparkles on my lotioned, tanned skin. i can't beLIEVE i don't have the balls to go to this meeting :(  what is WRONG with me??? i used to be like this in high school! if i was even 2 minutes late for a class, i would cut class because i couldn't cope with ev one staring at me. i am still that way and now i miss out on a good mtg because i'm a chicken :(  not to mention i haven't been to a mtg in a while, i had no car and when i called ppl for a ride, no go. so now it's too late for this one. alas....tomorrow's sat night mtg is way more low-key, so i will promise myself that i will GO :) it's unfortunate because if Ann/Anne was there tonight i was going to ask her to be my sponsor :) she's very motherly and sweet :) just the kind of sponsor i need :) i enjoy helping her put her sweater on and getting her purse and cane for her. i feel protective of her :) i don't know why i have such a warm feeling for "older folks", i just do. and having her for a sponsor would be a great thing, as she has somewhere between 20 and 35 yrs sober, i'll have to find out exactly how long she's been sober.
Serena came over to use our immaculate shower and i went to walgreens to pick up some items and to use the ATM to take out money to give her, as i owe her, how horrible am i? k, nuff beating myself up!!! otherwise it will just lead me to a drink. when me and Shaina got back, rena and i were chatting while she dolled herself up. she was getting ready for a "bus party", that travels to Boston and then there was some club, with some special DJ where they were all going. i hope she has fun and remains safe. i do worry sometimes. she has been dabbling in the "alcohol world" lately. at 24, she is very self-sufficient and responsible. i just worry because the disease of alcoholism is inherited. i'm already concerned about my Chad. he's going to be 22 on June 1st, WOW!! how fast they grow! he likes going to bars with his friend Chris and "socializing". to give him the benefit of any doubt, he IS a very friendly, outgoing, likeable person (thank God he got that from me, as opposed to daddy's personality). i am already worried about his consumption. the whole, "i only drink beer" thing doesn't fly. that's another one of those quotes one hears at meetings. that someone who was trying to "control" their drinking by only drinking beer, has already lost control. i won't go into a huge thing about alcoholism, i have just learned alot from AA over the yrs. so i do worry about him. all i can do is pray for him, and rena, for that matter. k, have to sign off now and go to rena's FB and check out the pic of the dress she's wearing tonight. i'm quite sure i'll be back on here later, if i don't fall asleep early. here are a few pics of my princess/goddess/warrior and my moon&starrrrs son/sun/sunshine :)

wow, nothing like going away at 8:30pm and coming back at 4am :O
sry, got super side tracked!!!!! see i branch off, lol....went to rena folder to look for pics to put here, knew there was more on MY fb, so went there, then saw Marcie's baby pics :O got lost until i didn't know how to find my way back till NOW, hahaha...i even spent a glorious 2 hr trip to wallyworld!!! they're open till midnight now :) loaded up on things; paper products, fem products, currayzee sale jewelry!!!, mad currayzeee slippers :) (as i wore MY slippers THERE), PINK pair of sandals-shiny, 2 nini (bikini) tops-both PINK, a baby PINK cami, 4 shirts (inCLUDING the one i put a burn hole in previously!!!! which now has masking tape on it!!! soooooo happy to have my favie True Love t-shirt back :)))) and a black mini skirt w/pockets, sz xs-1, have to fold it over to make it short enough! (now i'm thinkin i want the aqua colored one, since i'm now tanning my legs :))))) gotta go back!  the jewelry i got, most of it is awesome, like the 17-tier silver necklace, the find of the night!!!! some i have to take back, that's ok :) i love shopping :) the gals up front were sooo nice to me, the lone shopper, place was a ghost-town as far as shoppers go :O  so, that's my "friday night thrill" :))) i was thinkin while i pulled up at 10:15pm, sunroof open, acting as "moonroof", amazing weather, and i thought to myself, wow, there's no where else i'd rather be on a friday night!! (besides my heating pad :)
k, here's a small few of rena and chad.



here's Serena, last Halloween :)

my feeny, doing modeling, finally!!!!!!!! been tellin her since she turned 17 :O

fee, at a special club in Boston, see the pic of the gurl up on the wall there? she's dressed up like my fee!!!!

rena, blued out! i did the corona :)

club-gurl, think she's wearin eXtensions in the back, she said last night she's giving all of them to MEEEEE!!

my pondering P :)

my precious gurl, ever the gymnast!!! carried it on thru highschool and can still kickass :)

my all time FAV of my Princess!!!! she's a Warrior for our fam(ily)   :)

k, that's; Serena, rena, feeny, fee, princess, P.......lotsa nicknames for her :) will get into Chad next time, or edit this later, need to go brush teeth and then make coffee, and then take more pain meds :(
btw, ISNT MY PRINCESS/GODDESS/WARRIOR AMAZINGGG?