juss tried to add a "mini etsy" to bottom of my page, showing my fav seller's (acrylicana) cutie things, no go :( i just joined ETSY juss now, very cute stuff :O i guess it's somewhat dif than ebay. i can see i will have to stay away because i just don't have the money to be spending there. well, maybe juss this cutest necklace everrr. here's the link;
http://www.etsy.com/listing/43276533/bright-jaunty-rainbow-flow-necklace-24
hope it shows up! gonna see if i can get it to show on my facebook. 18 months ago i was an ebay fanatic!! and of course most of the tops i bought were too small, i DO have a big ribcage i guess, cuz i sure don't have any boobs to speak of!!! and i AM a small in leggins/pants. so for some reason i'm med/lg in tops and of course in zipup hoodies, like my new magenta one from wallyworld, is XL, sure doesn't FEEL that way, lol. so! i ended up giving shianne a tons of tops at that time! aerospostale mostly, i was obsessed with it then. don't kno why, cuz now i LOVE Marshalls :) and brand "Poof" that Marshalls carries, which has; camisoles, leggins, etc. i have NEVER felt leggins THIS cottony soft!!!! sooo soft i can wear them to bed and not itch! i do, on occasion, but mostly i wear my lt pink LEI super cotton soft pj/thermal undie style but not fabric leggins. ummm...so, what else? well, i may have to call mom and have her drive me to drs, they want to take blood and check my "creat" (creatinine) and B.U.N. we'll see if she's "down". then rena's gonna have to ask her to pick HER up from work at 5pm :O poor mom/gma, what are we gonna doooooo? both of us have to ask her help for rides and then financially, "hit her up" so to say, to help get both our cars fixed, or in rena's case, a new car. if the tranny's shot on hers it's NOT worth fixin. but my situation is dif. mine CAN be fixed, even if i have to go to fuKing Canada for the parts!! that is what i will do....let us calculate....checking my cel fone calender to see how many days since my car broke...hold plz...wOw...today is day 33, holy moly!!! i am OVERRRRRR this :( this april has been sooo sunny and pretty i could be drivin around town with my sunroof open and my windows down and my pink boa floating in the wind, this is getting to be unacceptable! it's supposed to be fixed in a "timely fashion", ya, ok, "eatMyFuKnShortsDotCom :( that's what i say when i'm beyond words :(((( these are the times when i wish i had a heroic man/husband to take over the situation and make it happn' captn' !!! alas....there is no one.....sure, i have daddy/dana, who tells me to keep tryin, plus he's called numerous times to try to get them on the ball, then, when i went to wally's w/homer the other night, he was sayin, sell it and i'll find you a new car....ya, ok, manic boy....i think NOT....i LOVE that car, there is NOTHING wrong with that car, other than the obvious, and i have owned it for 18 months with NO problems!!! i should not badmouth homer in that way, he is just trying to help, but alas, he IS mentally ill and knows not what he says.....daddy even said, don't even listen to him (homer) he doesn't know what he's talkin about.....i guess i'll get on the horn early today w/daddy and we can brainstorm together :) i am soooo lucky to have my ex, the father of my children, as my verrrry best friend!!! we have been broken up for 15 yrs now, i never thought we'd end up like this :) he is my "health care proxy" etc. i trust ONLY him. i could NEVER allow mom to be that for me, she'd pull the plug in a newyork second!!! she even asked me why i didn't choose her and i told her she is far too much under Jeanne's influence, she denied it, i reminded her of how her and jeanne went up to conway lake and took dad's ashes to bass rock to distribute them WITHOUT USSSS!!! sorry folks, UNACCEPTABLE....and for an entire YEAR after dad died, ev time i went by Duckett funeral home in Sud, i would wave and say, "hi dad", cuz i thought they were holding them for mom till she "figured shit out". that was a doozy i would say...comPLETE loser fam dynamics....totally NOT participating in it anymore. God has freed me, thank you Lord!!! it used to mangle me, no more...perhaps i will wear one of my rosarys today...if only rena would GIVE me the real one with tiny pearls on it!!! she doesn't even wear it or use it. gurls she bbsits for gave to her, i said, rena, she prob got that for her gd first communion!! you can't take it, course she did anyway...i want it....mine are pink and plastic :( alas....must stay away from self-pity today!! tis my enemy!! it WILL drive me to drink!!! also, i'm sick of posting entries saying, "have to get to a mtg", i can't believe how long it's been!! wow, whatever happened to "lending a helping hand to the needy alcoholic", guess not. w.e. i'll get that number from bernice, a program called, "Busy Bee", helps disabled ppl, drives them to drs, cvs, grocery store, etc, holla....ya, oooo baby, i dooo so dig bein a disabled joke....k, get away from the "pity pot"....remember pg 449!!!!!!!!
"and acceptance is the answer to all my problems today!!! when i find some; person, place, thing, some situation/aspect of my life unacceptable to me, i can find no serenity until i accept that; person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at that moment. nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. until i could accept my alcoholism, i could not stay sober. unless i accept life completely on life's terms, i cannot find peace/happiness. i need to focus not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. life is 10 percent of what happens to me, and the other ninety percent is how i react to it."
that's all i remember by heart. i'm sure the words are not all correct. i used to know it by heart, early 90s. rob can recite it at a meeting :) he's truly an insiration! i just wish i was "one of his favs". he has so many and i've never been a part of that special club. maybe i'll give Serenity a call this morn and see how she's doin :))) she's the only AA person who's been in touch w/me. Bless her Lord, she works soooo hard, give her peace, help her to get ahead in life :) she's awesome!!
k, gtg for now. don't want to overwhelm myself ;)
~Jiinxsay Lee Whild



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