trying to stay positive

i'm finding it super hard to end this day on a high note. i spent this day creating this blogspot, going back & forth between mine & my friend/idol; Jinxi-Boo's....she rocks, her blogspot rocks, her soul rocks, her heart rocks, her LIFE rocks. i feel very small in comparison. i am beYOND impaired. i was going to use this journal exclusively for my "journey" on the path of recovery from Borderline personality disorder. but i think it's going to end up being my quiet place, to reflect, vent, try to stay away from self-pity and so on. i get shit from my oldest daughter when i "vent" on facebook, so, here i am....i will try not to overwhelm any possible readers on my very 1st night. i will start slow & reveal myself as tha days go by (yes, i DO give in to tha ghetto part of me that tends to spell "the" "tha"....rebellious i suppose. too old to be doing that, alas, i do it anyways. i think journaling every day will help me. to end on a pos/neg note; i sat out & sun-worshipped for 2 hrs today & my hospital-white-irish skin is lookin nice & brown :) and then later, while on laptop, my butt lost it's ash & i burned a HUGE hole in my FAV new t-shirt :(   WILL be replacing it when i get my disability check friday april 30th....it says, 'true love', got it at wallyworld....so that was my pos/neg deal...if i get real & reflect on tha day, tha most important thing is; i didn't drink :) thank you God. and i have a bangin tan...AND i weigh 97.6 lbs, skinny bitch. luvit, not gonna lie. been fat, been skinny, been in tha middle, skinny ROCKS.... add THAT to my "frailties"....will list them 'nother day...1 butt left, no money, gonna QUIT SMOKIN tomorrow, lol, ya right....want to...we'll see..

k, Jiinxsay out

g'night all <3

tha jiinxified one

bummer..can't attach my ballet pic to this entry...